Under Your Spell A Musical
by Indigo Shoes
Summary: For some strange reason, the students of Hogwarts (Marauder Era) appear to be having trouble with containing their emotions... unfortunately, not all of them can sing.
1. The Busted Scenes

To a Stranger: The Musical  
  
Best Viewed After Reading 'To a Stranger'  
  
Currently Unavailable - Link Supplied Upon Demand  
  
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Must Know Information~ Severus Snape and Gen Barrington are betrothed; an  
arrangement made by their parents.  
  
All lyrics in this scene have been adapted from Busted's tunes, and I don't  
claim to own them.  
  
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Foreword  
  
This 'parody' - or slightly insane To a Stranger spoof - takes place over a large span of time, and, for the sake of the storyline, I have not entered any hints to any of the storyline main-fic-wise. The Ayla, Remus and Valera storyline is merely for stories sake, and there is no guarantee that any of the contents shall occur in the main fic; the triangle pairing was created by, and I hope I remembered right, Manal and Kristina. I hope it's cringy.  
  
Also, as requested by Kristina, there is a scene within this fic of Malfoy and Snape pairing; please, do not be disturbed; it is only a Musical.  
  
Also, thanks to Kristina for the Voldemort-singing idea.  
  
As I said before, this contains no hints and hardly any references to 'To a Stranger'.  
  
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Chapter One - The Busted Scenes  
  
Sirius' head drooped; Divination, the ever boring subject. Professor Jones was currently declaring that James was going to die in precisely two weeks, due to a freak flute incident. Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull, dull, dull, dull, dull. Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring. Sirius prodded his tealeaves with the tip of his quill, changing the large dog that was imaged, apparently, in his cup into a giant sledgehammer. Latvia had this uncanny knack of knowing exactly what all the tealeaf-reading symbols were, and recognising them in practise. Sirius didn't, and he didn't feel like being told that there was a grim in his cup and he should expect to die due to a. a. a strange accident involving a trombone. He'd rather be told that a sledgehammer symbolised that he'd kill his best friend than be told that, because he had a dog in his mug, he'd experience death by musical instrument. At least he could stop himself from killing his best friend. it was rather hard to keep yourself from dying. He dried his quill on Latvia's sleeve.  
  
James rolled his eyes as Professor Jones moved away. "Can you believe that anyone would dare stuff a flute up my nose and arrange my brains in a different way?" James shook his head in desperation. "I didn't even think it was possible."  
  
"It's not." Said the girl behind him, scornfully - a Hufflepuff named Janet. "You don't have any brains to rearranged."  
  
"Gee, thanks." James raised an eyebrow at Sirius, as if to indicate that Janet was mad - unfortunately, Sirius seemed to find it amusing, and was laughing.  
  
"Mr Grey!" Professor Jones shuffled over, all hunched and old looking. He reminded Sirius of a stooped tree. "What is it you find so funny? The fact your friend will die, your cousin will marry a fifty-year-old the year she leaves Hogwarts, or that." he paused to peer into Sirius' cup, ".you will kill Mr Porter and attack Mr Lupeen with a faulty broom stick?"  
  
"All of them." Sirius laughed. "Latvia's in love with-" Latvia stamped on her cousin's foot; Sirius cried out in pain. "Latvia would never marry some wrinkly, and James isn't going to die because he has no brain to be rearranged. Oh, and I don't own a flute, so I can hardly kill James, can I?"  
  
"Don't question the leaves!" Jones cried, obviously terrified, and shuffled away.  
  
"Well done, Sirius." Janet hissed. "He'll give us extra homework now. You should have just let him tell you what your cup meant."  
  
"Oh, shut up, Janice."  
  
Janet blushed at the use of the name the Professor called her, and turned away to pass her cup up to Jones.  
  
"These people all suck." Sirius muttered, tipping the contents of his cup into his hands and rolling the little leaves into a small, wet ball. Professor Jones was shuffling towards the front of the class, towards his desk, which was positioned right in front of the door. He aimed; he leaned back, tongue out in concentration. The perfect aim. He launched he small soggy tealeaf ball. The door opened. Professor Jones stepped around his desk to greet someone. The ball landed smack-bang on the visitor's stomach. Gen. Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but something else came out.  
  
"Your face is everywhere I go, now, And you're not on television shows now, Baby I need you. You're everything I want in someone, But you don't know who I am; Baby, why should you?"  
  
"Sirius?" Latvia asked, worried about her cousin's singing. Janet was wide eyed behind them, James gaping by Sirius' side. Gen was picking the small brown leaves from her clothes, and hadn't yet heard; after all, the music had only just started (from who knows where). Sirius stood up.  
  
"Sweating all over your letters home, Reading every word in slow mo. Trackin' you down in the Common Room Cos you ain't seen me yet..." he leapt onto the table; James and Latvia, strangely overcome by the need to sing, stood behind him, on the carpeted floor, swinging their arms and clicking their fingers at appropriate intervals.  
  
"I want you Gen-ee B, I need you here with me. You know that I won't stop until I've got you. I want you Gen-ee B!"  
  
Gen looked up, shocked at hearing her name, and saw Sirius. She stopped moping her robes in favour of gawping like some demented goldfish. Sirius was standing on his homework and quill, apparently absorbed in singing - singing to Gen. Latvia, still swaying, sung, in a low voice, "Yeah, he wants you Gen-ee B."  
  
"I even know the place that you live, And I don't care who your boyfriend is, Cos one day it's gonna be me. And I think that I'm obsessed with you girl, Cos I copy everything you do now. And Butterbeer lets me taste you."  
  
Gen moved towards Sirius, through the throng of gaping bystanders, to the foot of his table. Sirius reached down a hand to her, still singing.  
  
"God must of spent a little more time on you, In school uniform you look so good." Gen blushed deep red. "And you say that you're not a girl, I'll make you a woman."  
  
Taking Sirius' hand, Gen stepped up onto the table, still a bright shade of red. Professor Jones was squawking something about health and safety, but no one was listening. Sirius had turned so that he was still looking at Gen, and Gen at him.  
  
"Every single thing you do, Every time I look at you, I become a slave for you. You drive me crazy. You know that I won't stop until I got you, I want you Gen-ee B."  
  
"He wants you Gen-ee B." Latvia and James agreed.  
  
"What the hell can I do To get closer to you? You can run, you can't hide, I'll make you feel good inside." He sung. Twice. But something else was happening; new music was splitting into the original.  
  
"She's my psycho girl, My psycho girlfriend. Everything I say, She takes it the wrong way. She's my psycho girl, A living nightmare. She's got everything I need, But I can't stand her." Apparently Severus Snape had never taken singing lessons.  
  
"Uh." Sirius looked puzzled. "Who invited you?"  
  
"I can't change their thinking, And she's got rich family," he continued without acknowledging Sirius at all. "But just look at her! She's a Gryffindor!"  
  
"Keep to the script!" Dumbledore scolded - although Sirius could have sworn the head teacher hadn't been there to start with.  
  
"We see each other, We start fighting. Since I hate her I just make her pay." Sirius glared.  
  
"What the hell can I do To get closer to you? You can run, you can't hide, I'll make you feel good inside." He repeated, in competition with Snape, keeping eye contact with the Slytherin boy.  
  
"She's my psycho girl, My psycho girlfriend. Everything I say, She takes it the wrong way. She's my psycho girl, A living nightmare. She's got everything I need, But I can't stand her."  
  
And then, as if to break up the fight, another set of music joined in, in a small space between the two others, and it was Gen's turn - she gave way to the force of song.  
  
"The way you always make me look at you With all the crazy things you say. The way so many disasters surround you, And all the tears you seem able to take." Gen was, quite obviously, singing to Sirius. Snape looked put out.  
  
"She's my psycho girl, My psycho girlfriend-"  
  
"I want you Gen-ee B, I need you here with me. You know that I won't stop until I've got you. I want you Gen-"  
  
"And now we're falling, Got nothing left to say? And I can't break free, Not from in me there. And I can't breathe without you-"  
  
'BAM'. With one last climax, the song ended. Finally. The whole Divination class was in hysterics, and Snape backed away so as to avoid any unpleasant curses.  
  
"Whoa. that was weird." Sirius sat down heavily on the edge of the table; Gen followed suit.  
  
Latvia turned angrily to James and slapped him roughly around the face. "Why can't you ever do anything that romantic for me?"  
  
* * *  
  
Lunch, and apparently the whole school had heard about the singing fiasco. But no one was making much of a big deal about it; actually, it had been happening everywhere, and everyone was treating it like it was perfectly normal - a contrast to that morning, when it had seemed abnormally insane. Every now and then, someone would sing about something, and then everything would go back to normal. If you were lucky, you'd get the whole school joining in at the chorus. Remus poked his food elegantly around his plate, unaware of Valera and Ayla's constant gaze. Both were secretly hoping that, considering the strange new habit people had of jumping up and singing, they'd be serenaded by the socially retarded werewolf. So far, no luck. McGonagall was eating something green at the teacher's table, watching her students sternly. Ayla was growing fed up of waiting. She gave Remus a sharp prod.  
  
"What?" he jumped, and turned to face her.  
  
"Aren't you going to sing to anyone?"  
  
"No."  
  
"No one?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Isn't there anyone that you'd like to sing to?" she was practically begging to be serenaded.  
  
"Actually." Remus replied, slowly, gazing at the girl as if he'd only just seen her, "Now that you mention it." still looking directly at her he climbed to his feet and backed away from the table. At last minute he swung around. Ayla, positive he was about to sing something to her, eagerly looked on as he produced a rose from up his sleeve (it must have been very uncomfortable) and climbed up to the teacher's table. And there - the familiar sound of music starting, somewhere off screen.  
  
Remus didn't turn back to face Ayla.  
  
"Her voice is echoed in my mind, I count the days till she is mine; Can't tell my friends cos they will laugh, I love a member of the staff."  
  
Valera wailed, long and loud, and thwacked Ayla hard around the ear.  
  
"This is your fault!"  
  
"I fight my way to front of class, To get the best view of her ass; I drop a quill on the floor, She bends down and shows me more."  
  
Yes, Remus was serenading - much to the distress of his admirers - Professor McGonagall.  
  
"That's what I stay at school for, Even though it is a real bore. You can call me crazy, But I know that she craves me. That's what I stay at school for, Even though it is a real bore; Girlfriends, I haven't had any 'Cause I want Miss McGonagall-ee. That's what I stay at school for; That's what I stay at school for."  
  
Ayla jumped up and pounded Valera on the nose.  
  
"So she may be thirty-three, But that doesn't bother me; Her boyfriend threw her out," somewhere in the background, a host of several hundred sang 'this summer', "I find a reason to go round. I climb a tree outside her window To make sure she's alone, I see her in her underwear; I can't help but stop and stare."  
  
Valera smashed a dinner plate over Ayla's head.  
  
"Everyone that you teach all day knows your looking at me in a different way, I guess that's why my marks are getting so high; I can see those tell tale signs telling me that I was on your mind. I could see that you want it more when you told me that I'm what you stay at school for-"  
  
"You're what I stay at school for!" McGonagall cried, happily, jumping up in a manner that sent her chair flying into the face of an innocent bystander. Professor Jones muttered something about health and safety.  
  
"I dream. She's packed her bag its in the trunk, Looks like she's picked herself a hunk; We drive past school to say goodbye, My friends, they can't believe their eyes."  
  
"STOP!" Valera, her nose dripped blood down her robes, jumped to her feet. "Remus, you want me, not that old bag!  
  
"You're so fit, and you know it, And I only dream of you; 'Cause I've been brought up a witch, And you're a werewolf." The audience gasped. "Maybe you need somebody just like me; Don't turn me down 'cause I've got no broom and I've got no money..." she did an intricate dance step, "I asked you to dance at the disco But you said No! The whole world was watching and laughing On the day that I crashed and burned... At your feet!"  
  
Ayla grabbed Valera's hair; the second girl shrieked. Ayla took over the song.  
  
"Since the day you kissed me-"  
  
"When was that?" Remus looked terrified that he'd forgotten something.  
  
"Ok, ok! Since the day you dissed me, I'm feeling so pathetic, 'Cause the girls," she jerked a thumb at Valera, "well, they've ditched me, and its all because of... You and your friends are laughing at me now, you think that I'm nothing; Ask your brother what you're missing!"  
  
"My brother? Do I have a brother?"  
  
"Fine - picky, picky, picky. You and your friends are laughing at me now, you think that I'm nothing; Ask your father what you're missing."  
  
"Eww, bad mental image." Valera kicked Ayla to the floor. "My turn.  
  
"I asked you to dance at the disco, But you said No! The whole world was watching and laughing On the day that I crashed and burned... At your feet! Maybe you think that you're too good for me; Tonight, when you get to the Common Room, you're gonna see I know I've got something better than you, baby. I just haven't found it yet."  
  
The music reached its climax, and grew almost silent; you could only just hear what was left of the music.  
  
"'Cause I used to be the loser wolf, Who always ran away to sulk; No one took the time to know me, The kick me sign was always on me, Now everybody wants to know, What I do and where I go; At least they wont forget me, 'Cause I sang to Miss McGonagall-ee."  
  
Then whole room went back to eating, and Valera stormed away to cry in the girls' toilets.  
  
"Sheesh, that was harsh." James went back to eating. 


	2. The Evil Lair of Lord Voldemort

Evil Lair of Lord Voldemort;  
  
Evil Extraordinaire,  
  
(Also Good at Pluming),  
  
Trained in the Dark Arts (Not Bad at Kung Fu),  
  
Delusional Head Boy of Hogwarts Past,  
  
Strong Believer in Rights for Women,  
  
Gardener,  
  
Dark Lord.  
  
Lord Voldemort was sitting on his camp bed, staring at the opposite wall, humming some unfamiliar tune and feeling altogether blue. He'd been thinking about decorating his Evil Lair for quite a while, but his Minions kept reminding him that pink wallpaper was a little too sweet for a Dark Lord. and, therefore, he'd decided it was safest to keep his walls paperless and blank. And he'd been denied the pleasure of fluffy carpet, so he'd just lined the floor with old newspapers, instead. Surely a Dark Lord could have whatever wallpaper and carpet, and dresses, he wanted? No one would pick on the notorious Dark Lord, would they? Well, apart from that horrid Bellatrix Lestrange person, who was barely old enough to go to school but somehow managed to insult every hobby he had - she'd even stopped him from going horse riding. Yes, Lord Voldemort was miserable, and in the worst sense. 'They even stole my copy of Little Women', he thought, sombrely, finding, instead, a book entitled 'How To Cook Seven Hundred Types Of Curry To Kill'. The only small joy he had was the blue-tacked photo he had on his opposite wall, depicting his one and only son - an ugly little thing, in his opinion, but still. his son. His light, his fluffy- little-piglet, his - was he being cute again? He cringed. Yes, a photo of the small, ugly, pink Peter Pettigrew was hanging on his wall, gurgling in that annoyingly adorable way ugly babies always do. Voldemort sighed. He was about to address the photo, as he often did, when he had the strange urge to do something quite, quite unfamiliar. . .  
  
"Nobody's there when I get home, I'm renting Bambi on my own; Your photo's on my bedroom wall, Yet I hardly know you at all. And I know I leave you on your own, And I need you to be strong When I'm killing your best friends. And I, I hate to say goodbye; It gets harder every time." He sobbed; such a lovely song. he just wished he knew why he was singing it. "What I feel, You feel inside; When the day turns into night." he stood up from his bed, letting the 'How To Cook Seven Hundred Types Of Curry To Kill' book thud to the floor, and spread his arms expressively. "Another tired afternoon; Another un-pinked room. I hate the fact that your not here But now I'm counting down the days till you grow hair," he wasn't very clever; anyone else would have actually remembered the fact that their son was at Hogwarts, and in his Sixth Year. "And I know, I leave you on your own; And I need you to be strong When I'm killing your best friends. And I, I hate to say goodbye; It gets harder every time. What I feel, You feel inside; When the day turns into night."  
  
"Your Lordship?"  
  
'EEKKKKK!!! Lestange. . .'  
  
"Your Lordship, are you singing again?" 


	3. The McGonagall Juniors Academy

"Dude, check out Valera!" Sirius laughed, pointing a finger towards the dark-haired girl. Remus turned slowly; Valera had this tendency of bursting into tears when he was around. Today, however, was a different story; Valera was standing taller than normal - you could have balanced 'War and Peace' on her head, apart from the tight bun she wore all her hair scooped back into. She had poised a pair of lens-less glasses on the bridge of her nose, and wore a severe expression. Her robes were longer than normal, and a dark shade of emerald green. Remus gawped. Sirius howled with laughter. James tried not to laugh, which resulted in an undignified snorting sound. James turned away to dry his eyes - trying to not laugh was causing them to water - and caught sight of something else. . .  
  
"Oh, Mother of Merlin, I do not believe this."  
  
Remus turned to look where James was pointing; Ayla, only not Ayla. This Ayla wore glasses that obviously obscured her vision (she'd just stepped on Lily's parakeet), a thin-lipped glare, her normally-blonde-but-now-black hair in a neat bun and long emerald green velvet robes (stained with mustard). McGonagall Junior One and McGonagall Junior Two. The McGonagall Sisters.  
  
"Quick, lets go." Remus muttered, grabbing his friends' arms and dragging them away. This insanity had to stop. Unfortunately, throughout the course of the morning, they discovered that it wasn't just Ayla and Valera who had undergone a transformation - by the end of the day, they'd counted one hundred and seventy five and one half McGonagall Juniors.  
  
"Moony, my deranged werewolf friend, you must be the most popular guy in the whole of England; you have a considerable amount of female supporters, all dressed as your girlfrie- uh. . . Professor."  
  
The addressed boy groaned. "This is bad."  
  
"What are you talking about?" James gaped. "Can you set me up with the tall blonde one?" he pointed at an unskilfully disguised McGonagall-look-a-like, who was hiding behind her Potions homework in order to watch Remus.  
  
"No!" Remus cried, covering his eyes and stepping backwards (into another McGonagall Junior).  
  
"What, you want her?" James looked disappointed. "Then how about that one?" he pointed to another McGonagall, who was hiding behind a lamppost, which had mysteriously appeared in the corridor earlier that day, along with a bus shelter and a hotdog stand.  
  
"No, I don't! I want a quiet life!"  
  
James shrugged. "What's the betting she'll slap me before I've even said more than 'hi, my name's James'?"  
  
"Ninety five percent certain that you'll come away with her handprint."  
  
"Damn it."  
  
* * *  
  
"Mr Lupin, I trust you've done your homework?"  
  
Remus looked up - now, which McGonagall was this one? He hair was slightly wavy - probably from wearing it braided for half her life, and trying to straighten it all at once. Valera. Most defiantly Va- no, wait, Valera was over the other side of the room, talking to James. It must be Latvia. He'd never been aware Latvia liked him that much. . .  
  
"Uh. y-e-a-h. Latvia?"  
  
"You may call me Minerva."  
  
"Minerva, then."  
  
"Yes, Mr Lupin."  
  
"Why the hell are you doing this?"  
  
"Duh - to make James jealous, so that he'll sing to me. Now, act like we're really getting along very, very well." She shoved his homework away and sat down on his knee.  
  
"You are Latvia, right?"  
  
"Who else would I be?" she glared. "Hug me." She commanded.  
  
"Uh. ok then."  
  
'Note to self - never sing to anyone ever again.'  
  
* * *  
  
Things were going to take some fixing, and they were getting worse; James wasn't jealous, he was just furious. and not speaking to Remus, or Latvia. Sirius, who had known James since before they were born, was also not speaking to Remus, and Lily, who appeared the only sane person left in the whole school, kept complaining about how much their counselling would cost. Even Gen, to the utter dismay of Sirius, was dressed like a miniature McGonagall - it was getting out of hand. Hogwarts had turned into a McGonagall Juniors Academy, and Remus hated it. He actually found himself mentally praying, each morning, that he'd go into the Common Room and find it was all a dream. and then he'd be confronted my Valera-Minerva, as her friends knew her, and find that either he must still be asleep, or this was one of those surreal TV shows and he hadn't noticed yet.  
  
Still, things could be worse. He could have fallen down a mineshaft and- no, wait; that would have been good. He wondered what the highest point in Hogwarts was, and if jumping from it could kill you. . .  
  
* * *  
  
Latvia grabbed James' arm and swung him around.  
  
"What I got to do to make you love me? What I got to do to make you care?" This singing thing was really getting annoying.  
  
"What do I do when lightning strikes me? And I wake to find that you're not there?" James replied, sadly. Ah, yes; perfect.  
  
"What I got to go to make you want me? What I got to do to be heard?" Latvia let go of James in order to cross her heart.  
  
"What do I say when it's all over?" James tilted his head.  
  
"Sorry seems to be the hardest word." They sang in unison, spinning around although not moving. . . it was one of those wacky film effects.  
  
"It's sad." Latvia sang.  
  
"So sad." James, of course.  
  
"It's a sad, sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd." Lily put her opinion in, finally getting a chance to sing something.  
  
"It's sad." Latvia again, in sincere sadness.  
  
"So sad." James agreed, again. "Why can't we talk it over? Oh, it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word."  
  
Valera was alone in the Common Room, resting her head in her hands in desperation. "What do I do to make you want me? What I got to do to be heard?" she slid the hair-tie from her tight bun and let her hair fall across her face, like a dark veil. "What do I say when it's all over? Sorry seems to be the hardest word."  
  
"It's sad." Remus sang, softly, from an unnoticed corner of the room.  
  
"So sad." Ayla approved, standing by the window in a corridor, in one of the highest wings.  
  
"It's a sad, sad situation, And it's getting more and more absurd." The voice returned to Latvia. "It's sad."  
  
"So sad." Remus once more. "Why can't we talk it over?"  
  
"Oh, it seems to me," Valera replied, in her sweet voice, "That sorry seems to be the hardest word."  
  
"I'm sorry," they all sang together, reaching a note that shook the school. And then, still in unison - James to Latvia, Latvia to James; Remus to Valera, Valera to Remus; Ayla to Remus, despite the distance; Lily to. everyone. "What I got to do to make you love me? What I got to do to be heard? What do I do when lightning strikes me? What have I got to do? What have I got to do? When sorry seems to be the hardest word." 


End file.
